Get your Squash-plush toys while they’re still fresh off the tarmac. Twitch the Raccoon was the first to be scraped off the road. But now there’s a new not-so-cuddly toy in town. His name is Grind the Rabbit. The first 1000 Grind characters are all limited edition. Each one has a personalised toe tag, handwritten by the creator. All of them have limited edition numbers. It took Adam, the creator, 7 long nights to finish all those tags, and caused him severe tendonitis. It’s not that we’re trying to emotionally blackmail you. Just buy one.

The limited edition Grind characters are the same price as the standard Grind characters - £25. And for £25 you get the plush toy, a translucent body bag and an identity tag, giving you details of the toy’s demise.

As the Squash-plush range grows, our little shop is going to grow. Next in the plush range is Splodge the Hedgehog and Smudge the Squirrel. And as soon as we can scrape them off the roads and plop them into their body bags, there’s Pop the Weasel (a door wedge), Splodge the hedgehog (this time reincarnated as a mousemat), and many others.

They make perfect gifts for similar sociopaths. Get them all before the maggots set in.