Get your Squash-plush toys while they’re still fresh off the tarmac. Twitch and Grind are now joined by the latest not-so-cuddly toy. His name is Splodge the Hedgehog.

Splodge comes with a brand new death certificate, and an ‘I love Roadkill’ bumper sticker. The first 500 Splodge characters are all limited edition and are the same price as the regular toy, so it is first come, first served. Each one has a personalised toe tag, handwritten by the creator. All of them have limited edition numbers.

As the Squash-plush range grows, our little shop is going to grow. Next off the gory conveyor belt will be Smudge the Squirrel. And as soon as quarantine has given us clearance, there’s Pop the Weasel (a door wedge), Splodge the Hedgehog (this time reincarnated as a mousemat), and many others.

They make perfect gifts for like-minded sociopaths. Get them all before the maggots set in.