Smudge (Squirrel) Plush Toy

Price: £25.00

Our Squash-plush range looks like roadkill. Feels like roadkill. And tastes like roadkill. But they’re not. They’re plush toys. Very macabre plush toys. It’s the way we design them that makes them seem so real.

The blood and guts and gore are made using the latest high-tech stuffing and plush, to give it quite a realistic squidgy effect. The body and head and legs are made from specially-sourced plush material, giving them that tactile quality of mangy fur. The body is partly stuffed with beads, to give it extra dead weight. And unlike real roadkill it’s something you’ll want to take home and put on your designer coffee table.

We’ve tried to make Smudge and the rest of his Squash-plush chums as life-like as possible. But not too life-like. That would be unhygienic. All the plush materials and stuffing we’ve used are made from 100% polyester fibres, and are fully compliant with British and US safety laws.

Smudge’s body is stuffed with a mixture of beads and stuffing. The beads give the Squash-plush teddy a bit of extra weight, so he can lie in his blood pool, hugging the tarmac. The blood and guts and gore are made using the latest, cutting edge stuffing. It’s a special new micro-bead stuffing that gives the guts and organs a more malleable, tactile effect. It makes it more squidgy. More gross-out. You can disembowel Smudge by pulling the blood and innards through the zip that lines the back of the teddy carcass. 

The underbody and legs and head are made from specially sourced Squash-plush material. It’s a really good quality Korean fur, and it gives the teddy a convincingly mangy pelt. The plush for the bushy squirrel tail is also specially-sourced. It gives the tail a unique bushy quality. The Gut-plush, as we like to call it, is a stretchy thin material that squidges and bulges under your fingers. If you’ve ever squidged a Japanese Barbapapa plush toy, then you’ll know what we mean. And the claws that protrude from each of his four grasping paws are made of felt.

His left eye is plastic. The right hand one is closed and hooded by plush purple eyelids. His nose is also plastic. And all of his features are fully compliant with British and US safety laws.

Streaked across his flattened back there’s a tyre print painted on. The effect gives quite a realistic tyre residue. Flip him over and on his underbelly there’s an embroidered red blood splat. In the middle of this blood splat, there are a couple of embroidered organs. From what we know about Squirrel anatomy, it looks like a pancreas and an appendix.

He measures a statuesque 32 cms from twitchy nose to bushy tail, and 10 cms from squished flank to flank. And in the middle he flattens out to 5 cms high with the blood and guts stuffed in, and 2 cms high with them out. His bushy tail, for which he was the envy of the Swinbrook hedgerows, is 10 cms long and 6.5cms at full bushy height. At 350 grams he’s slightly on the skinny side for a Squirrel. This is due to the fact he has a nut allergy, which prohibits him from eating his favourite foods.

The teddy bodybag is made from a transluscent plastic so you can see the gore inside. It has a white zipper down the middle. And it’s 25 cms long by 20 wide. With a bit of prodding and pounding, it just allows enough space for the remains of an ex-Squirrel.

The toe tag is made out of recycled brown card. It’s attached to the toe with string. And there’s even a sew-in instruction label that’s crusted with blood and gore.